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Danielle Dunn Style

Motherhood•Wellness

2019 A Year in Review: Year of Fear

January 8, 2020

Hey friends! I took a longer than intended pause last month. I didn’t wish you a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year, so I would first like to start off by saying I hope you had a very wonderful holiday season with your family!! We were sick most of the break and had some much needed (and required) R&R.  Hope yours was filled with way less fevers and a whole lot of fun! Today I’m kicking off the new year by digging deep & getting raw with you as I reflect on the past year & share what my focus will be for 2020.

Getting real right from the start…

2019 was hard.  Behind every picture you saw here or on IG was a woman falling apart on the inside.  Reflecting back on 2019, which I have now respectively coined  “the Year of Fear.” I was constantly living in fear – whether that was associated with Rohen’s seizures, the blog, my relationships, my health.  I was operating and making decisions based on rational and irrational fears all day long.  I created a habit of responding and operating from fear.  It was extremely unhealthy mentally, physically, relationally, and emotionally. Looking back, I would say Rohen’s epilepsy diagnosis was the tipping point for me, I moved into a daily battle of unhealthy fear that controlled my life.  I no longer was sleeping.  I had unexplainable pains.  I was exhausted before my feet hit the floor.  At my worst moments, I would turn to Josh and say, I can’t keep living like this, I honestly don’t know if my body will be able to stay alive another year.  Gah, how morbid.  Clearly, my husband is a total trooper.  I mean, what do you even say to that? He was so patient with me, trying to encourage me to take care of myself first.  I just couldn’t hear it.  I couldn’t accept it.  Even though that is exactly what I needed to do…

I was falling apart and because I had never truly learned to work through the hard stuff life throws at you I tackled it by pushing it down, ignoring it, and covering it with the tricks and lies of perfectionism.

Needless to say, by the end of 2019 I finally realized I couldn’t keep going like this, all aspects of my life had started to unravel. For example, this blog, a project of love & passion, was completely zapped of all passion, joy, and creativity. I had reverted back to my main operation protocol: perfectionism.  The thing with perfectionism is it steals your joy and creativity.  So by December, I was running on fumes in real life and virtually.  I was falling apart (literally) and because I had never truly learned to work through the hard stuff life throws at you I tackled it by pushing it down, ignoring it, and covering it with the tricks and lies of perfectionism.  I can’t tell you how many times I started to write a post trying to explain where my head and heart was at this past year, but every time I left more defeated.  I just couldn’t process and work through it.  I wasn’t healthy enough to do it.  It left me feeling fake and not authentic, the very last thing I wanted for this space I had poured my heart and soul into creating.  So, I just stepped away.  No explanation, because truthfully, I didn’t even have a fully thought out reason.  I just knew it was time to take a break.  I needed time to reflect and to heal.  I didn’t wait for the new year to tell me I needed a change, I knew deep in my soul I needed a change.  I’m so glad I didn’t wait.

Here are just a few things these past few weeks have taught me:

  • I never equipped myself to process and work through the hard stuff- I need to learn how to do this in a healthy way.
  • I need to ZEN the f-out. So, I went to yoga and I found out…
  • YOGA is my jam.
  • I have to make my health a priority. I got my DNA tested and woah!!! It has been so empowering and enlightening. I highly recommend it! I’ll do a whole post on our results and some lifestyle changes we have made that have already helped a ton! A few things I learned: I need to get outside every.single.day.  I found out I have a vitamin D deficiency that has wreaked havoc on my body. And a HUGE bummer – I shouldn’t drink coffee (I really wish I wouldn’t have seen this one, but on a positive note my wallet is really liking all that Starbucks money I am saving)
  • Your skin shows you what is going on inside your body – listen!
  • It’s okay to take a break. And on that note, it’s also okay to prioritize yourself. In fact, for the sake of your relationships, you really should.

It’s with a fresh perspective I’m tackling 2020, not with a list of resolutions or goals but with a theme.  My 2020 theme is balance and evolution.

I want to realize when it’s time to hand it over to God.  Perfectionism tells me I can do it myself.  I really want to evolve that way of thinking to ‘He can do it better than me.’

I’m going to strive to evolve my go-to thinking and approach (perfectionism) to a healthier, more balanced approach.  Instead of looking at situations and immediately trying to analyze and fix it, I want to step back and breathe before making any decisions.  I want to operate from a place of calm, not fear. I also want to realize when it’s time to hand it over to God.  Perfectionism tells me I can do it myself.  I really want to evolve that way of thinking to ‘He can do it better than me.’   I’m going to strive to find balance in motherhood, marriage, friendships, health, and work.  I have an action plan for what some of those things may look like, but this will be a year of trial and error trying to figure out what that balance looks like for me. I will share my journey throughout the year with you and check in.

What this means for the blog: I’m going to start incorporating more aspects of my daily life.  I love fashion but it isn’t my whole world and trying to create content that only revolves around that just ultimately felt inauthentic.  So, this year I will definitely still be focusing on fashion, but I am going to incorporate more of motherhood, fitness, and health.  I was so afraid that if I didn’t niche down I wouldn’t be able to grow my blog, but I now recognize that fear was dictating how I shared and created content and I am not letting that fear take over anymore! I’m coming back to the blog refreshed and genuinely excited to create again.  I’m excited to create this year without fear as a factor. As crazy as it might sound, I honestly don’t know what that looks like, but I’m excited to find out!

I share all of this with you today, because I know we all have hard days, hard years, and hard seasons.  I want you to know you are not alone and also that you don’t need a new year to take care of yourself.  If you are standing in similar place as me, I’m hoping we’ll walk alongside each other this year.  Encouraging one another in our successes and our struggles.  Cheers to embracing the hard times as we evolve and find balance! Sending you all the love!

 

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Yesterday was the perfect day for celebrating! Lov Yesterday was the perfect day for celebrating! Love these mamas so much! 🍷♥️
Officially got his WHITE BELT 👏🏻👏🏻👏 Officially got his WHITE BELT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 @dojo400 #karatekid
First Day of Homeschool 🍎 we are so eager to st First Day of Homeschool 🍎 we are so eager to start this new adventure! Rohen could barely sleep bc he was so excited! Day one down, a lifetime to go! #wildandfreehomeschool #myfathersworld #homeschoollife #lifelonglearning
*GIVEAWAY TIME!* *CLOSED*Do you ever look in your *GIVEAWAY TIME!* *CLOSED*Do you ever look in your closet and feel totally overwhelmed? Are you unsure of what colors look best on you? Do you get discouraged when shopping because you don’t know how to dress for your body type?

I’m betting you answered ‘yes’ to at least one of those - that is why I’m so excited for today’s giveaway! Y’all are going to love this one! 
My sweet friend JoEllen over at @iamjoellen is a rockstar stylist, fellow minimalist who has fun with her style, a great mama, and now👏🏻 an 👏🏻author!!👏🏻 She just wrote not one but TWO style ebooks to help you find the colors that best compliment your skin tone & another that helps you identify your body type/shape and gives you the perfect examples of pieces that work best for your body type. I have read them and they are gooooood! They answer so many common questions I get and I know without a doubt she is going to help so many of you feel more confident getting dressed!

Here’s the best part: She wants to give one of you BOTH books for FREE!🙌🏼🥰 Entering is super easy:
1. Follow me & @iamjoellen 
2. Comment below with which style topic you can’t wait to learn more about
3. Bonus: Tag a friend in a separate comment who you think would love Joellen’s books♥️ Good luck friends! The giveaway runs through next Friday (July 3) & I’ll announce the winner in stories on the 4th!

Ps I’ll be talking about both books up in stories later today! I can’t wait to share with you some of my favorite tips from the books!
Happy Father’s Day to my fave human in the whole Happy Father’s Day to my fave human in the whole world 💙 @jmoveplay You are truly the answer to my prayers all those years ago & getting to watch you grow as a daddy has been one of my biggest honors! Thank you for never ever giving up, for your spirit of learning and the wisdom you bring to our family, for always believing in Ro and I no matter how crazy our dreams are, for seeking God first, and for your BIG LOVE that you give to us every single day! You are our real life superhero for ever and always! We love you a million infinities babe! 💙
My heart breaks for the daily injustices. The ones My heart breaks for the daily injustices. The ones we see & the ones we don’t. The judgement, the hate, the sheer lack of love we have for our fellow humans based on our differences is just that- heartbreaking.💔 My thoughts are many and usually I like to keep quiet especially until I process fully but I know silence is a choice too & it’s one I’m choosing not to make.

Friends, we are fighting an enemy. He uses hate & lies to spur anger, judgement, pain, division, miscommunication, and death. When we choose to hate, practice unjust judgement, or hurt another human we all lose.

The way I see it, we WIN the battle with LOVE. We are called to love our fellow humans despite their race or differences. God created you, me, them, US....We are SAME TEAM unless we believe the lies the enemy wants us to believe. He uses those lies to separate us & put us against each other. The enemy wants us divided because when we stand together he knows he will never win!

I don’t have the words or can’t express my sincerest apologies for the injustices happening still in 2020. I may not have walked in your shoes,  but my little family and I are ON YOUR TEAM and stand beside you. We see you as worthy. We see you as beautiful. We see you as a friend. ♥️ I wish I could go back in time and speak up sooner, advocate more, and ask the right questions. I know I can’t change the past, but I know I can change the future. I’m starting with Rohen. I’m starting with my awareness.

Mamas, we can change the projection of racism now. We can raise a generation of children who absolutely do not stand up for racism! We can raise a generation that sees the beauty in our differences and praises them! We can raise children who ask the right questions & who stand up for those fighting injustice without thought because they are so acutely aware of it. 
Mamas, when we take our blinders off and show compassion towards others differences and celebrate them with our children, we are changing the future.

If you are looking for a place to start - Swipe for a few resources to help teach your children about racism that @laurengores shared. #blacklivesmatter
Graphic Tee Style Session || I’ve teamed up with Graphic Tee Style Session || I’ve teamed up with some really cool ladies to style graphic tees for y’all this week!

We all have a different vibe which makes this style session really fun! Today is my day to go & I’m styling 3 different styles of graphic tees up in stories 👆🏼 no matter what type of graphic tee you like to rock I hope you leave with some inspiration ♥️ Also, if you have been missing Ro just swipe for a few 📷 of my favorite little photobomber ——> 😍🤣 Be sure to follow along with all of these amazing ladies to get all the graphic tee inspo this week:

@lindsay_p_hutchins
@kaitlyn_mcknight
@absolutelyanniee
@glowinginthedark.blog
@christinemariestyle
@theluxurybelle ...
I linked several fun graphic tees under $30 over on the @liketoknow.it app! Including some that would be perfect for Fourth of July coming up! 🇺🇸 ...
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#graphictee #tshirtoftheday #shopsmall #targetstyle #targetmyway #targetmom #everydaymadewell #affordablestyle #springootd
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